“Pray also for me, that whenever I speak, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel.” Ephesians 6:19
My sweet girl, middle name Grace, was mad. Mmmmm-aaaaaaa-d. Say it fast. Mad. There was tears streaming from her face, and she was stomping around like I had just thrown away burned up all of her favorite things. Then, she burst saying, “I don’t want to be here anymore!” which hit a hot button for me more than I can even describe. She was only eight so truly she was just frustrated with something and expressing it this way was the only way she could figure it out.
This began a hour-long process of talking through with my girl what had just happened. I was babbling through whatever wisdom I could pull out of my own brain. I was explaining her behavior left and right. I was justifying the consequences. I even called daddy into the conversation. I was searching my brain for the words to say that would talk her through this circle of self-harm. I asked questions to dig deeper into the root of the heart. Why would she say this?
Then, she blurted it out. “I don’t know why I do these things that are wrong that I don’t want to do! I just want to escape sin forever! That’s why I don’t want to be on earth anymore!”
Out of the mouth of a babe.
I grabbed her and help her tight and cried with her. I prayed over her and spoke the Gospel over her right then and there.
“Me, too. It is so much. But we must trust God for the good that we don’t see. For His will. For a purpose of all of this. You, dear daughter, have a purpose engraved into your entire life because you are His.” She completely melted into my arms in a pile of peace and calm.
Can you relate? I sure can. I have messed up badly at times. I have become more painfully conscious of past poor choices that it can pile up like manure. Oh so often we must be reminded of the Gospel and how the Son of God suffered for us, conquered death on the third day, abolished the need to be perfect by giving us an advocate, the Holy Spirit, and becoming completely and wholly unbroken in the sight of the Lord! What Grace! Can I get an Amen?
Do you believe this Gospel of reckless love? Are you still chasing ways to earn your share? After all, that is the way of the world: working hard to move up the ladder, to make ends meet, to make a difference in the world. The way of the Lord is so unconditional, no strings attached, protecting, and guiding.