The Renewing of our Mind: Battling the Negative Thoughts that arise in Homeschooling
"You just did this type of math problem fine last week! Why aren't you doing it now?"
"Guys! Stop fighting over every little thing! Get back to work if you want to be done by 12!"
"Ugh! I wish we had separate rooms so you don't even have to see each other during school let alone pester each other."
"Oh man, yet another Language Arts milestone I forgot all about!"
"Stop whining, please, you KNOW we have to do school every day!"
"Wait, so you mean you cover all subjects every day with ALL your kids? I can't even get through two!"
"I feel like I can't do this anymore. Maybe they are better off in a school building."
Do these sound familiar to you? Whether spoken or thought inside, these are things I have gone through in my own life. Talking to other moms who walk the homeschooling journey along with me, I know these are not uncommon and weird thoughts. They are real with monthly/weekly/daily/hourly reoccurrences.
I caught myself, in my distress, saying or thinking these thoughts on a regular basis. It didn't need to be this way, I cried. I prayed for wisdom. I sought Scripture. I was so done with this grumbling attitude in my heart because I saw it begin to manifest in theirs. God's word is a lamp to my feet (Psalm 119:105) so that I can shine my light for them as well. I was stricken to the core in my conviction. Shining our lights to the world didn't just mean outside my home but especially the more INSIDE my home. (Matthew 5:16).
What has helped me through all of these thoughts was to realize and dissect the origin of them all and check my heart to align it with God's plan and purpose. We are called to be in the process of renewing our minds so we are able to see God's will: the perfect and acceptable things (Romans 12:2). Let's dissect these thoughts from above and put the Gospel in it:
"You just did this type of math problem fine last week! Why aren't you doing it now?"
Why am I upset that she isn't understanding this concept now? Am I truly giving her the grace like I was given? Is it possible that she had forgotten as I had forgotten many math concepts over the years? Would Christ brush her off or be drawn into her? Let me rub her back and let her know I understand and we can solve this together.
"Guys! Stop fighting over every little thing! Get back to work if you want to be done by 12!"
Why am I in such a hurry today? Is there something I selfishly want to do or is it an urgent matter? Is there something today we need to cancel so I have time to help them be peace-makers? Do I need to let go of MY ideal and listen to what God is presenting me in this situation right now? Let me take the time to bring them together with the Bible and see how we can resolve this, forgive like God forgave us, and move forward on a better note.
"Ugh! I wish we had separate rooms so you don't even have to see each other during school let alone pester each other."
How can I show them that I LOVE having them around? How can I help them with this continued conflict that doesn't seem to be understood? Isn't this my goal of homeschooling for these moments - to teach them character first and then comes the material? How can I foster their relationship and give them real examples from Scripture to help guide them and teach them to understand and love each other, too? Let's take a break from our lesson and go outside for 25 minutes, get some energy out, and play a game that will build your relationship.
If only this was so easy, right? I had built a habit of being a quick thinker and decider rather than a thoughtful and wise conflict resolver. I could sling out a consequence faster than any cowboy in the wild west before really hearing the true needs of the situation or of my kids.
This process takes dedicated time to renew our mind to thinking Gospel-led thoughts instead of "I must control"-led thoughts.
Do not be discouraged, dear mama, because there is always hope and a future and a work that God continues to work in us that will only become perfected when we enter into glory (Ephesians 2:10). We are no longer condemned through Christ (Romans 8:1) - He died once for all (Hebrews 10:10). Let's dust each other off, hold hands, and travel on together.